Girl: u like horror games?
Me: ye
*Acts innocent but is thinking about riding the fuck out of you*
me thinking about roller coasters
Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.
Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.
Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.
Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.
Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.
There are million dollar blockbuster movies that were less entertaining than the rollercoaster this post just took me on.
I have an idealized version of myself in my mind and she’s really pissed off at my life choices
what if instead of drops, rain fell all at once.
like, a two inch thick sheet of water just goes thwap, and then it’s sunny again
Fun fact: This is what would happen if there was no air resistance, and it would actually come down so fast that it would kill us
Thank you, air resistance, for allowing us to die in normal ways like eating a peanut or being so old our body stops working.
That is not a fun fact
Scientists discover most relaxing tune ever
Sound therapists and Manchester band Marconi Union compiled the song. Scientists played it to 40 women and found it to be more effective at helping them relax than songs by Enya, Mozart and Coldplay.
Weightless works by using specific rhythms, tones, frequencies and intervals to relax the listener. A continuous rhythm of 60 BPM causes the brainwaves and heart rate to synchronise with the rhythm: a process known as ‘entrainment’. Low underlying bass tones relax the listener and a low whooshing sound with a trance-like quality takes the listener into an even deeper state of calm.
JESUS CHRIST
This really works.
